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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Wild Reindeers of Sunny California

    In the middle of the cotton and polyester blend field of snow stood the majestic wild reindeer of sunny California, unmoving, its fur thick and black as night, its eyes unblinking. I slowly crept up to the beast striving not to startle it. I reached out softly and stroked its back gently as I whispered into its ear. It seemed to calm it for it sat down, momentarily relaxing. It reached up with its hind leg and vigorously scratched its ear, ridding it of whatever unwanted thing or creature was in there. The little gold bells on its grandiose antlers jingled as it scratched, distracting the wild reindeer momentarily. Jingle Jingle Jingle. Its eyes wide, it searched the horizon for the mysterious sound. In the distance, on the edge of the field near the square caves of white, it spotted another of its kind lying down, facing it with a pursuant look. It stared back.

    It was strange seeing another of its kind, being as rare as they are, but against all odds there it was across the field at the edge of the world. It glanced away from the new arrival to scout other areas for just a moment. Seeing nothing else, it turned back, the new arrival seemed minutely closer. It cocked its head slightly to the left wondering was it really closer, when the mysterious jingling came back. Jingle Jingle Jingle. Madly, it looked around for the source of the sound. Not able to locate the sound he turned back to the new arrival. It was closer, almost half the distance it was before. It was still lying down, facing it, its eyes staring unwaveringly.

    Its eyes glared at the new arrival as it dropped its own body down to the ground in quick motion. Jingle Jingle Jingle. Frantically, its head swinging in all directions, the sound getting louder and stronger, it searched to no avail for that horrible sound. It turned its attention back to the new arrival, it was gone. With a quick jerk to the left it saw nothing. Jingle Jingle Jingle. A quick jerk to the right, it was too late, all he could see was black fur flying at his face at supersonic speed.
    The new arrival attacked from the right, flying through the air like a bad walnut chucked out of a hole in a tree by a really mad squirrel. It could feel the front legs of its attacker wrap around the back of its head, teeth bared, biting into its antlers. Jingle Jingle Jingle. The sound drove the wild reindeer insane, he fought back. Bringing its hind legs in and under the new arrival, it pushed with all its might and flung the brute over its head and onto its back. Jingle Jingle Jingle. Its mind foaming from the horrible sound, it leapt and attacked back. A swipe with its hoof connected directly to its attackers antlers. Jingle Jingle Jingle. The wild reindeer's ears pricked up, the sound, the maddening sound, it was the new arrivals antlers. With a new ferocity it attacked, with its site on stopping the horrible sound.

    Arms entangled, legs flaying, bodies rolling as one, they fought, each going for the majestic antlers of the others. They rolled and fought across the great field, crashing and bumping. Jingle Jingle Jingle. I dove out of the way, escaping being crushed, or worse yet, scratched. They crashed into the square caves of white so strong it created a great avalanche. Little bits of antlers flew from the big ball of fur rolling across the field. Jingle jingle jingle. I could not believe my eyes. I stared in wonder, watching in awe as these great and rare creatures…

Suddenly and unexpectedly, I was dragged out of my hypnotic state as I watched the majestic creatures do battle. The earth shook and the heavens above opened up as a big booming voice emanated,

"Oh good gawd, take those damn antlers off the cats before they kill themselves!"


  1. roflmbo Mike you are CRAZY!!! lol how FUNNY! LOVED IT :)

  2. LOL! i knew it was little johnny playing a trick again! great writing and especially the ending. :)

  3. antlers on the cats...
    I see myself doing something like that except I have no cats. I do however have room-mates 15 of them and all male.
    Bachelors, not by choice.

    I can see it now...
    I have antlers 2 pair. I could get them to charge at each other for bowls of soup...
    We have a really long corridor in the middle of the building, OOOHHH this should be fun!!!
    *update I talked to 2 of them and they are willing to do it*
    I will try to figure out my Zi6 the video part of it.
    there should be a video on my blog soon.
    thanks for the great Idea!!!

  4. Cats and antlers sounds like a bad idea for all parties invovled!

  5. Aion, very glad you liked it :)

    Sarah, what trick? I'm Innocent. The name says so :)

    Adorabibble, now THATS something I want to see LOL

    Hunter, it's great. It's like Rock em Sock em Robots live action! :)

  6. Mike, so wuz thet the cat god that spoke at the end, or just some snoopy neighbor killin your fun?

  7. everybody loves a good reindeer brawl...

  8. Now, I confess today I was expecting a twist in the ending ... LOL. I am beginning to read into your style Mike and love your blogs more and more each time I come here.

  9. Bob,no, that was MY owner :)

    Bendigo, it was GREAT! Made the WWF look like little girls

    Farila, I think I love you more and more. Your the greatest! :)

  10. LOL...that was fabulous Mike, I could totally picture the scene and I loved the really mad squirrel. Very funny!

  11. I don't know what made me laugh more ... the story or the picture. I believe it was the combination. Good job, crazy cat man.

  12. HA!!!
    That picture is almost kind of creepy.

  13. Is that a picture of the rare Birch-Barked Deercat? Majestic beauties they are!
    I've tried similar tricks with the dogs, but the results have been disasterous at best.
    Keep the stories coming!