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Thursday, October 29, 2009

You Know When You’re So Scared, Nothing Comes Out Of Your Mouth?





    At one time or another we've all been so scared as to scream. Our mouths open wide, jaws drop to our chest and the corners of our lips are about to split as we take in the horror that is upon us. We fill our lungs to capacity for maximum sound, expecting to snap eardrums for miles. All that air goes flying out in what should have been one blood curdling scream but instead we get a sound that's quieter than a whisper. Sometimes, this is a good thing.


    We had some guest over one weekend and on the second morning of a wonderful time I was in the kitchen making breakfast when one of them walked in looking dead tired. I asked if he was ok and he responded with he was fine, just didn't get any sleep. He dragged his limp and lifeless body over to the kitchen table and sat down, rubbed his eyes and said, "You know when you're so scared, you open your mouth to scream and nothing comes out?" I told him I did, usually in nightmares. "Let me tell you about my nightmare then", he said.


    It seems he got up around 1am and had to use the bathroom. He quietly felt his way down the dark hallway to the pitch black bathroom, stepped in and shut the door. He felt around the cold wall for a light switch to no avail.  Not being able to see, he sat down instead of standing to urinate.  As he sat there in total darkness he felt a warm breath blow across the back of his neck. At first, he thought he just imagined it but it happened again. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck and arms start to stand up as panic started to take over. He finished quickly and was ready to bolt out of the bathroom when he felt another warm breath followed by a tiny little tap on his left shoulder. Panic took over. He froze. He opened his mouth to scream but nothing came out. Fear had him glued down and visions of his decaying body being discovered on the porcelain thrown sent chills down his spine. Just as the last fleeting pictures of his life flew across his vision, he heard a tiny little sound come from behind him.  These were the last seconds of his life.  The tiny sound came again and this time he heard it clearly.  Meow.   That's when he realized there was a cat sitting on the toilet tank right behind him. After that, all he could think of was, thank gawd that he was sitting on a toilet.

34 comments:

  1. Mike, you had Clem over? Those darn cats, are funny they probably had it planned out too.
    Think I could borrow em for halloween?

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  2. It's easy to trick yourself into being afraid when you're half asleep!

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  3. Ha! That's very funny! Poor guy.
    Cheers!
    C

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  4. That was so funny! I have often wondered if I could possibly scream out loud, if I ever had to, or would I just wimper and burst out crying!
    Probably the second one! I am quite good at crying, but I have never tried to scream!

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  5. i think you trained your cat to do that just in case the guests over stayed their welcome. good trick though. can i borrow your cat over the holiday?

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  6. Bob, you may borrow the Mads but you have to keep them through Christmas!

    Hunter, I read your post today, great stuff.

    ByDSea, Cheers back. For all the people reading this comment, you need to go check out her post today. I though it very special and touching

    Slimbolala, thanks :)

    Alice, I'll put some earplugs in and we'll practice that scream for you.

    Thank you all for stopping by and commenting

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  7. Sarah, lol We must of posted comments at the same time, You weren't there when I started. I just loaned the cats out ot Bob. DOH!

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  8. That's the first time I've heard of a sitting cat frightening someone half to death. I've had a few spring out on me from nowhere that set my heart beating fast.

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  9. Mike, these cats are eatin all the halloween candy,will they git sick, if so I'm gonna send em to Sarah.

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  10. Ahhh, yes, nothing like the hot Meow-Mix breath and furry paw of the silent feline in the dark of night!!!

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  11. Great story and well told! loved the heightened tension buildup...
    This brightened my day, Thanks!

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  12. nothingprofound, trust me, they spring out too. :)

    Bob, do I have to make a sign that says Don't Feed The Animals? Yes, candy makes them sick so pass them off to Sarah before she catches on.

    MsBurb, it's the tuna breath that gets me. :) and I got your email, thank you so much, I'll put it up proudly.

    Aion, thank you, you just brightened my own day.

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  13. LOL that's funny. My cat once hid behind the toilet when company was over. i imagined something like your story happening so I pulled him outta there. haha

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  14. Mike, I have not been able to get this off my mind all day. You need to train those cats to do that then video it.
    lmao all day

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  15. Funny post, Mike. I can't tell ya' how many times my cats have done something during the night that scared the hell outta me! I think they secretly get a big rise from making us freak out.

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  16. When I am reading your post it starts to visualize in my mind and I watch it like a movie... For a moment there I thought someone was already sitting on the toilet and your friend was sitting on his/her lap LOL....
    Thanks for the award Mike...

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  17. Oh My gosh! Your poor guest!

    Of course, this reminds me of The Tingler which I just recently watched. (cue creepy Vincent Price laugh)

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  18. Dr. T.L. thank you and I'll do my best. Also, thank you for becoming my 100th follower.

    Sahasrara, I think cats pass these kinda of stories on to each other and have a good laugh at us. :)

    Bob, hopefully the begining of next year I will be able to get a video recorder. I think what you will find though is a recreation of the Blair Witch Project. Except it wont be ghost attacking me. :)

    Tom, mine don't make it a secret. They actually point and laugh at me. :)

    Farila, I'll make sure to tell my friend you visualized him on the pot. LOL Your very welcome by the way. Very deserving.

    Nanny Goats, (the name cracks me up just writing it) I love that movie. Haven't seen it years. I'm gonna have to go diggin through the DVD's, it's in there somewhere.

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  19. Good thing he was on the toilet indeed! Great story!

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  20. Ha :)

    Great post, I can never seem to find light switches in the middle of the night but it's ok, I don't own a cat :P

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  21. Charlene, I for one was thankful, yes. :)

    Colin, you do now. I found an extra one. Already Fed Exed to you. Should be arriving any day. :)

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  22. That is so funny. I need to train a cat to do that!

    Kate x

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  23. Kate, I no longer have one trained to do that anymore BUT, I have someting else for you. Just take a shoe string (preferably one of babblinbobs) and hand it to Ted. Place the cat in the same room. Once Ted moves with the shoe string in his hand, it's all over for him.

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  24. I'm so glad you started writing after your hiatus! The world would have suffered if your pen had remained mute! Very funny, too. I can't have cats. My dog loses perspective and eats them. So, it is a special treat to view them through your eyes!

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  25. Thank you very much for stopping by my blog aswell and leaving me a comment, you are sweet :)

    I think you are a really cool writer and I bookmarked you so I'm going to be back soon. You've got fun stories!

    Oh and you make me wish I had a cat :D

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  26. DaniG, thank you for stopping by and thank you for that great comment. I'm honored.

    Ingrid, same to you. Your energy really flows through your posts, it's infectious. I love to here comments like that so again, thank you very much

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  27. Love it! Don't cha know that kitty knew exactly what he or she was doing!

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  28. That is too funny! It sounds like your cat was getting fresh with him with all that touching and heavy breathing in the dark.

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  29. you never know where the cats will pop up in the dark. One night I went to the bathroom in the dark and felt something furry just as I was sitting down. One of our cats had been sleeping at the base of the toilet and not wanting to be disturbed by the likes of me, held her ground. It was quite startling until I realized it was her and not something else furry under foot.

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  30. This story is absolutely hilarious; something similar happened to a friend of mine, except it involved a cleverly hidden Furby (remember those things?). Thanks for the post!

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  31. I Wonder Wye, I'm sure that cat is still snickerin about it to this day.

    AVC, LOL Never thought of it that way.

    Chris, I find it true that cats will lay where they want and nothings movin them.

    Stephen, I'm embarassed to say, yes, I remember Furby. LOL

    Thanks for all the comments. Lets me know I'm doing what I set out to do, make you laugh.

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  32. That gave me a much needed giggle!

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