Interlude #4: If You Have A Moustache, Get A Dog!

    I was awakened each night to what felt like Muhammad Ali slapping me in the face. My eyes would open to find my new Kitten sitting on my chest staring at me. This happened for weeks, every night. I seem to be the only one in the house this kitten hated so much he felt the need to punch me around as I slept. I was laughed at and mocked for getting beat up by a tiny cute adorable little kitten. During the day, he seemed to love me but each night the lights went out, the gloves went off. Ding goes the bell, whack goes the paw, right in the nose.


    It wasn't until one afternoon, when I saw my tiny cute adorable little kitten playing with a toy, that I finally caught on. He was batting, punching and flinging a fuzzy little worm cat toy. I reached up to my hairy upper lip and the light of understanding shined down on me.


    Doing my Sally Field impersonation, "you love me, you really, really love me", I ran to the bathroom and snatched the clippers from the drawer.


    That night, with my closely cut upper lip hair, I grabbed the fuzzy little worm cat toy and placed it on the end of the bed. I shut off the light and smiled, looking forward to my first uninterrupted night of sleep in weeks. As the drunks were all going home, I was again startled awake by a left hook to the face. My eyes popped open, wide awake with confusion in my head. There on my chest sat the tiny cute adorable little kitten and there on my face sat the fuzzy little worm cat toy.