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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Trusting Turkey

    A long time ago on a special day, war broke out. Color and Joy were over taken by the cold and dreary Grays. Color and Joy knew something had to be done but what, they did not know. Far on the horizon, a hero awoke from a loud and horrendous roar emanating from his nose. Thus began the final battle of the Color and Joys against the Grays on that day of Good N Plenty.

    The only color came as rays of warm sun flowed around the wooden slats and rippled across the bed to form a pool of pure comfort in a drab and colorless morning. In the pool the hairy heathen lie, blissfully enjoying his quiet as I floated across the green grass of carpet to be by his side. I hovered over my flea laden co-conspirator of past as his eyes slowly opened to reveal two trusting windows reflecting my own soul.
Without words, we each knew it was time to breath new color into the steel gray life that hung around the morning air. With a nod from each of us, I slid off to the edge of my kingdom to take a peek across the vast desert of my journey to the metal dragons den. I spied three of the enemy Grays, sitting, staring at a box of light between me and my destination, their king lying motionless beside them. With a glance back to my hairy heathen friend, I let him know with an evil grin of my imminent return, then headed out.

     Ghost like, I slid through the enemy, eyes down, passing each unnoticed. I made it across the lifeless landscape to the place that held the metal dragon called Amana easily but I feared the return would not be as kind. Numerous doors leading to nowhere confused my mind as I searched for my treasure fruitlessly. Perplexed, I sat and thought. My eyes drifted over to Amana, sleeping now but soon would be awake. My eyes grew brighter as my sight fell upon its glass belly. There in the depths of its bowels, the treasure I sought. With feet of air I crept to the metal dragon and delicately pried the beasts belly open to retrieve my prize, the Container of Joy, bruised black and blue and worn down from years of use.

     With treasure in hand there was but one task left before my stealthy return, slay the metal dragon. I reached to my side and unsheathed my rusty wrench, silently crawling across the back of the dragon to the one spot that would kill it. I slowly raised my rusty wrench above my head then thrust down with all my strength, connecting to the one spot that would extinguish the fires from hell. With a quick, precise turn, the dragon laid lifeless, unable to harm anyone again.

     Treasure secured and dragon dead, I prepared myself for the journey back to my domain where my hairy heathen friend waited. I shimmied across the bottoms of huge eight foot cliffs and hid in the shadows of soft plushy rocks. Across the desert I flew for what seemed like weeks but was mere seconds of my life lost to the trek.

     Upon my arrival, my hairy heathen friend smiled. I saw in his face the trust I needed to win the war against the Grays. I lifted my friend into the air and carefully placed him into the Container of Joy. Time was of importance, the King of Grays was soon to be at the den of the metal dragon Amana. I hoisted the container with my friend inside and journeyed back to Amana's den.

     With my friend inside, I placed the Container of Joy into the metal dragon's stomach. With one last look, I checked to see if he was alright and his expression back told me all was well, then I sealed him closed inside the belly of the metal dragon.

     Quickly and effortlessly, I donned my disguise; lips turned down, back hunched and bags under my eyes and hid among the Grays. Their King moaned, rustled and rolled over, awake. He stood, scratched his humongous butt and cackled if there was any mud water. I pointed towards Amana's Den and declared the dragon might have some hidden in its belly. With one last scratch and a blast of air, he was off.
      I could hear him search the numerous doors leading to nowhere, then silence. A yelp of surprise, followed by four lettered words flew from Amana's Den. The Grays flew up to see what the matter was with their king, I followed. The king sat on a tiny throne across from Amana, its belly gaping open. My hairy heathen friend was sitting on the surprised king's lap, smiling, inappropriately licking himself. Soon, the Grays caught onto what had happened. Their mouths started to turn up, their eyes lighting up. Color and Joy soon began to spread, filling Amana's den then spreading across the great desert, filling the world with smiles and laughter.

Dedicated to Orkin who always trusted me to never hurt him no matter what situation I put him in.
Yes, this was my way of saying I put the cat in a turkey pan and stuck him in the oven to scare my roommate…safely of course.



  1. Mike, I just knew the grays king would fart inside of the metal dragon.

  2. the description of the king's awakening is priceless! ( to speak)

  3. Bob, you cwazy you! :)

    Sarah, thanks. I did giggle a lot trying to write that part. Kept misspellin words.

  4. cat in the oven, having trouble typing laughing so hard!

  5. Brilliant! Excellent imagery and a good laugh, to be sure :)
    Awesome stuff.

  6. Oh, Mike! Excellent writing my friend, and funny as always!

  7. Cheers to Orkin, because that really is trust!

  8. Adorabibble, Stop, your making me, go on. :)

    Nauthiz, Thank you very much. I appreciate you kind words. I'm very glad you enjoyed it.

    Tina, I'll pay you later. thanks. LOL

  9. Hunter, Orkin was up there with Rock as the greatest animals ever.

  10. "The metal dragon named Amana". whooott! That was hilarious!

  11. So you want me to read your blog twice huh? I went through it totally confused and you enlightened me in the end.. so had to read again without the confusion.. but it was all worth it.

  12. 'flea laden co-conspirator'; priceless. Love it

  13. Leeuna, Amana was a mean one too, She would burn my food and blame my cooking!

    Farila, LOL, I want you to come back everyday and read it atleast once. :)

    UberGrumpy, Thanks, I put that one up there with the fuzzy spider bus from the other story

  14. LOL....just brilliant...I can always count a great story when I come here...

    I have given you an award in recognition of your awesome story telling talents...Keep us laughing :)

    you can pick it up at

  15. Great story, excellent writing and very funny!

  16. Bendigo, it's my pleasure to make you laugh buddy :) Thank you so much for the award, I am very honored.

    ByDSea, thank your great comments! I don't know what happened, I was following you and for some odd reason i'm not now...well I am now again because I just re followed. No wonder I was going through Coastal Concoctions withdrawels. :)

  17. Brilliant story! Now how did you get the cat into the pan, let alone the oven, without a trip to the emergency room? (for you, not the cat)

  18. Oh my gosh! I love this story!! lol

  19. Christina, truth be told, the turkey pan was retired and became Orkins bed after that. He loved it.

    Marla, welcome aboard and thank you, I'm glad you love the story :)

  20. This has to be one of the best stories ever! How do you do it?

    Kate xx